


Angels

by souzaki (space_in_between)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-07-21 18:04:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7397893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/space_in_between/pseuds/souzaki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“You should stop being a worrywart, Jean darling.”</i>
  <br/>
  <i>“Yeah,” Jean’s other boyfriend quickly agrees. “You’ll have other time to worry but not with us around.”</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In which Jean has two so-called-angel boyfriends, and he can’t stop worrying about everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Angels

 

“This world is so full with nasty people.”

Armin looks up from where he’s cuddled on Jean’s long arms, to look at his boyfriend’s face. He chuckles. “What are you saying?”

“Look at them, those people keep arguing over things that aren’t even their business. I mean, so what if someone is gay or if someone is bi? Does that have anything to do with their lives? And those monogamy freaks,  _ god _ . Having two or more lovers at once doesn’t equal to murder.”

Jean was talking about the topics on TV, and Armin has to agree they talk mostly about bullshit. Armin thinks it’s adorable that Jean still watches the television anyway, despite hating everything the thing offers.

“You’re just bitter because polyamorous relationship hasn’t been a trend in here,” someone pipes in from the kitchen. Armin cranes his neck to wink at his boyfriend—who’s also Jean’s boyfriend—and the other boy returns his gesture with a smile. “I told you we should move to England. They’re pretty open about a hustle relationship with more than two people involved.”

“Oh, Marco, stop trying to sneak your personal obsession to live in England in every conversation we have,” Armin says. Jean laughs and grabs the remote control from the side of the couch, turning off the television.

“Maybe England isn’t that bad,” Jean hums. “Germany is great and all, but isn’t being closer with Queen Elizabeth sounds enticing?”

Armin frowns. “You aren’t going to get closer with Queen Elizabeth even if we move to England. God, Marco, what have you said to this boy with poor knowledge about the world?”

“Nothing in particular,” Marco grins over Jean’s shoulder—he’s already holding a bowl of popcorn for their movie night. Marco squeezes himself in the couch and takes a place beside Jean, hogging the bowl to himself and slap Jean’s hand when it tries to grab some.

“No, Jean, movie first. You promised we’ll watch a rom-com tonight. If you changed to horror like last week, I’ll starve you for a month and not even Armin will be able to save you.”

Jean groans and slides down to the floor, crawling to the DVD player and sets the movie. Armin shifts to sit beside Marco, taking a good amount of popcorn on his palm before Marco can protest.

“So, what’s great about England?” Armin asks, leaning his head to Marco’s shoulder.

Marco smiles at the smaller blonde man beside him. “Everything about it, darling. Everything.”

  
  
  
  
  


Jean Kirstein never once thought he would have two lovers, and both are men to be exact. He was in love with Marco first—Marco was one of his first friends he made on the first day at school and the boy with freckles on his nose and under his eyes had stunned Jean from the first hello they shared. Marco was incredibly comfortable to be around, he was easygoing and friendly and he was probably the only one who brave enough to talk back to Jean when his mood swung annoyingly (it scared the other kids, but not Marco). Jean had always had a problem with his attitude mainly because he couldn’t contain his emotion well, and Marco was the reason why Jean tried so hard to control it. Marco had helped, and Jean fell in love all over again.

They didn’t progress further as boyfriends until they were nineteen, even though their love had been mutual for four years (Marco confessed first during high school first year ceremony, and Jean was confused and couldn’t stop cursing under his breath, but at the end he grabbed Marco’s uniform collar and kissed him). It took three years, a lot of grumbles from their group of friends, and a drunk confession in a party until Jean and Marco were official. Everything was settled for years, until Jean finished his professional photography course and he worked with the model, Armin Arlert.

Armin Arlert was beautiful, fragile, and stunning in the way Marco didn’t. Jean knew he shouldn’t be falling in love with another person, but Armin made his way into his heart and Jean couldn’t escape. What surprised him was, Marco was also fell in love the same way with Armin the day Armin came over for dinner, and suddenly the whole polyamorous things swam to the surface.

They didn’t know how to do with this kind of relationship—as if being gay wasn’t hard enough, and they were gay for two people. At once. Jean was really, really unsure at first, thinking that he might end up hurting the two of them, something he never wanted to do. But Marco held his hand and Armin’s together, saying they would figure out how to make it work.

And somehow, it worked.

  
  
  
  
  


“So, how does it feel to have more people to satisfy your raging hormones?”

Jean glares at Eren, his friend. They are having a small meetup in a cafe while waiting for Eren’s childhood friend, Mikasa, and Jean’s boyfriends who went shopping a while ago.

“I’m not you, you dirty jerk. This relationship isn’t sexual oriented.”

Eren laughs. “Well, I know, I can see that. But I’ve never met someone in this kind of relationship before, so I kinda… curious. I mean, when you’re being with one person, don’t you feel like cheating with the other? But that really isn’t cheating because you know, you’re together. But  _ still  _ cheating with the other. And is it really possible to fall in love with two persons at once?”

Jean sighs. It’s common for people to ask him things like this, and he can understand that for some reason, being in a relationship with more than one person is something beyond apprehension. And the way Eren rambles about things he genuinely curious about sounds harsh in Jean’s ear.

“It’s not something… I can explain with words,” Jean says after licking his suddenly dry lips. “I didn’t get it too, at first. And I was afraid I would hurt them with dragging them into this mess, but neither Marco nor Armin ever saw our relationship as a mess, and we survived for three years and counting. It’s the same love, Eren, but it’s not solely for one person. It’s not sharing, either. You just… you just love, in the same amount, for two persons.”

“It means you’re just fucking greedy,” Eren snickers. “But do you think this is right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re doing something different in the term of… relationship. Are you sure what do you feel for them is love, for both of them, not something out of guilty or anything drama?”

Jean frowns, thinking. With Marco it was easy—he was Jean’s first for almost anything. With Armin it was even easier—Armin was there when Jean least expecting it and he made Jean feel a lot of things he’d never thought before, and Jean had never regretted it.

He shakes his head. “Yes, I guess. It’s love for both of them.”

Eren chuckles. “That’s all I can say if you’re so sure about your heart. Well, lucky for you, dude. You got two angels at your side.”

“Angels?” Jean repeats.

“Oh, come on. Don’t say you’d never realized it.”

Jean shakes his head. Eren groans exasperatedly.

“I don’t know if you’re blind or just plain stupid,” the black haired boy says. “Jean, everyone knows how Armin Arlert is a living fairy. I mean it in a good way, of course. If he wasn’t yours, I’d have snatched him from long ago. No offense, man, but you see my point there. And for Marco, you must know it better than anyone else. He’s nice, friendly, and his cooking tastes like heaven. The more reason not to let him go from your life, huh?”

Jean nods. He understands all of that, but where does this angel thing come from?

“You’re not possibly getting  _ two  _ people with that kind of personality twice in your life, Jean. They are one of a kind. See? They’re almost like fallen angels who have unfortunately trapped in your arms.”

Jean huffs. “I’m not calling my boyfriends angel. That sounds too cheesy.”

Mikasa, Armin and Marco return before Eren can reply. Armin and Marco sit beside each other, Marco looks pissed and Armin tried to calm him down.

“What’s going on?” asks Jean.

“A guy was flirting with Armin and Marco almost choked him to death,” Mikasa answers. “Lucky I and Armin stopped them before it turned into a big chaos.”

“He was flirting with  _ my _ boyfriend, there’s no way I could stay put and watch.” Marco snorts, annoyance drawn all over his face. “Armin was too kind for letting that asshole get away. You should at least kick him on the balls, or make him impotent.”

“Marco,” Armin grabs Marco’s hand, warning him. “That’s okay, he didn’t do anything to me. And for your information, you  _ did  _ kick him on the balls.”

Jean snorts a laugh. “Geez, Marco. You’re scary when you’re possessive. But are you really okay, Armin? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“He didn’t even have the chance to,” Armin laughs and squeezes Marco’s hand tighter. “Also, I was kind of glad Marco did that heroic thing for me. That guy was eyeing Marco’s ass for a while before I came, and apparently he did the same to me and Marco quickly reacted.”

Jean quirks a brow. “Wow, the more reason you should’ve made him impotent, Marco.”

“I knew it,” Marco sighs. “Next time we saw him again, I’ll cut his dick off and  _ poach  _ it.”

“Ew, disgusting,” Eren comments with a laugh. “I don’t think you’ll have next time, Marco. You scared him enough for ten generations.”

“He better be.”

Jean stares at his boyfriends, feeling warm and contented. Maybe Eren was right, maybe they were angels the Gods sent to him as gift. Jean’s life was never perfect; it turned a lot better after Marco and now he has it perfect in his own way with Armin.

He didn’t know love was really that easy.

 

“Let’s go home,” Armin touches Jean’s shoulder gently. “Marco is cooking Japanese cuisine for dinner. Also, Eren and Mikasa are stopping by for dinner.”

“Isn’t it great?” Marco asks, pressing a light kiss on Jean’s cheek. “I’ll cook your favorite, my loves.”

“Of course it is.”

  
  
  
  


“I think you’re right,” Jean says to Eren later that day.

“What am I right about?”

“Them,” Jean gestures to his boyfriends, “angels.”

Eren laughs. “Welcome to your brand new perspective about your lovers, Kirstein.”

  
  
  
  
  


But even with all the courage he had in himself, Jean can’t stop being worried about most things in their current relationship. Marco and Armin never seem to be bothered and Jean wonders if something is wrong with him, for wanting to make everything perfect for the three of them, but he’s alone. He’s not really sure if he sees this relationship the same way with Armin and Marco.

And just when doubts are all over him, the news broke.

“Armin, Jean, look at what just came this morning. It’s Levi and Erwin’s wedding invitation,” Marco holds up a piece of paper he took from the mailbox and waves it in front of his face. “We’re invited to the wedding of Armin’s boss’! Oh boy, look at this Erwin guy, he’s really hot.”

“Everyone was practically drooling over him whenever he visited his fiance at work,” Armin giggles. “Erwin is a really good guy. I’m sure Levi is making the right choice, and I sincerely wish for their happiness.”

Jean pops up behind Armin, hands on his shoulder to peek on the paper Marco is holding. “They’re getting married? Finally? That Freckerman sure having it tough for years with Erwin.”

“It’s Ackerman,” Armin corrects him.

“Jean knows them?” Marco asks, raising a brow.

“Yeah, I worked with Erwin’s company several times and we remain as good friends, or that’s the least I could say about us. We’re not particularly close, but sometimes Erwin invited me for lunch when we met at Levi’s studio.”

“When’s the wedding?” Armin asks.

“This weekend, we only have two days to look for something decent to wear. Armin, dear, I’d really,  _ really  _ appreciate your help on my wardrobe issue.”

Armin chuckles. “I’d gladly help, Marco. Jean, are you coming with us?”

Jean stutters, lost on his own mind. “Um, yeah, sure. Go ahead, I need to make a call.”

“Are you okay?” Marco asks, he’s always the quickest to sense something’s wrong. Jean quickly nods and plasters the best smile he could afford.

“Yeah. I’ll catch up to you guys later.”

Jean takes a deep breath after his boyfriends leave. A wedding, huh? Jean had always wanted a wedding of his own; where he and the love of his life vowed to spend their lives together until death do them part. When he realized he was gay, Jean wasn’t in the slightest bothered with that, because he thought he could still have a wedding. But it was before Armin—how would polyamorous relationship go further from what they were now?

Jean sighs, carding his fingers on his hair. He loves his boyfriends too much to tell them about his doubts, about the obscure future in their complicated relationship. And he’s always the only one who wonders, who’s feeling unsettled at heart. Deep down, Jean’s afraid if Marco and Armin don’t think about their status the way he does.

And that’s why Jean is never ready to take a step ahead; letting everything float before eventually falls. 

  
  
  
  
  


In the end, hiding things from his boyfriends really isn’t a wise choice. Marco and Armin corner Jean on the dining room, throwing him a suspicious look. They must’ve felt something wrong with Jean the whole afternoon, and they can’t let it slip so easily.

“So, mind to tell us what made you look so down today?” Marco asks, hands on his hips. “Seriously, Jean. You didn’t eat your breakfast, didn’t come out for lunch, and you never made  _ any  _ call. Do you think you can fool us forever?”

“You weren’t like this this morning,” Armin says in worried tone. “Did Erwin and Levi’s wedding invitation have something to do with this?”

Marco gasps as realization hits him. “Ah, true. You were acting weird ever since I showed you that invitation.”

Jean bites his lower lip. “Well… you see, I’ve always thought a relationship wasn’t real  _ relationship  _ without a wedding. I mean, I love you both so much, but I have no idea how polyamorous relationship could take this step. Is that even possible to have  _ three  _ grooms in a wedding? And no, I’m not talking about I’m going to marry one of you. I love you both equally, and-”

“You were thinking about  _ our  _ wedding?” Armin cuts between his giggles. “My, my, my boss’ wedding sure affects you a lot.”

Marco’s laugh follows a second after, leaving Jean dumbfounded.

“You should stop being a worrywart, Jean darling,” says Marco, still laughing. “We have plenty of time to think about that, anyway.”

“Yeah,” Jean’s other boyfriend quickly agrees. “You’ll have other time to worry but not with us around.”

Jean blinks. “Do you guys actually think about us in this kind of relationship?”

“Of course we do,” Armin answers softly. “Actually, we thought a lot about you. Marco knew you’re always worried and you’d put us before you every single time, and he knew you’d overthink literally anything because this relationship is something new for you. It goes for me and Marco, too, but you’re the perfectionist jerk who cares about every small detail.”

“And we had thought about marriage too,” Marco adds. “I know this relationship is uncommon, and we’d have difficulties to take this relationship into something more… intimate. But hey, why rushing when you can have everything you want with the way we are now? I and Armin are happy enough with this, that’s why we’d never really talked about marriage.”

Jean sighs. “I just want to have a perfect relationship with you two.”

“Nothing is absolutely perfect in a relationship, Jean,” Marco says. He’s kneeling before Jean, holding his hands with his eyes never leaving Jean’s. “But that’s why it’s a relationship, not a scripted drama. We could work together to make it feel right, to make us feel comfortable enough to stay.”

“Marco is right,” Armin hugs Jean from behind, circling his arms around Jean’s neck. “Happy now, worry later. If you really want to have a wedding, though, maybe we could move to England. I heard people there had serious talk about how to let this kind of hustle relationship have a proper wedding.”

“Ha, I told you. We should really move to England. Thanks for fueling the idea, Armin.”

Jean laughs, feeling much better now. He squeezes Marco’s hand back and leans to Armin’s petite body behind him—he’s feeling more than right to be with them, right here right now. Jean wants to stay. He knows Armin and Marco feel the same, and it’s more, more than enough for now. 

Wedding can wait until Jean finished looking for an apartment for the three of them when they move to England.

**Author's Note:**

> i rarely read/do ot3 but i have this sudden urge to write about them. manga spoiler, iykwim


End file.
